Celebrating the Winter Solstice (or, “Sit your ass down.”)
Clients and I use a Shared Google Doc that includes agendas. Agenda item Care of the Entrepreneur is after Updates, and before the worky-work. I hit them with it first: after that they know it’s coming.
Last week I had a first meeting with a new client who was also running around the shop overseeing, handling things while we “met” on a screen. I asked, “How are you? How are you taking care of you?”
Not sure she heard me right, she looked me in the eye for the first time in that meeting and said, “do not ask me or I will cry”. I let her know that many of my first meetings with clients begin with tears, sometimes face-down-on-the-table full-on sobs. It’s ok. It really is.
Another has been working with medical pros to find answers to what her body is telling her, sure there was a medical reason. Her doctor told her the answer: “sit your ass down”. Rest, care for yourself.
Not what she wanted to hear. A diagnosis with a cure or a pill would have been simpler, feels more acceptable. But now she knows, and I could double-team her with her doctor. I hope she hears us.
Raise your hand if you started a business while also taking care of children, elders, your education, your marriage, your family, another job, etc. Me too.
Running out of time, out of energy, compromising your mental and physical health is much scarier than running out of cash. It’s almost impossible to replenish when you’re working at a deficit, under the mistaken impression that working harder, being open more hours, staying up later and getting up earlier, will make you more productive. Science knows we can’t “make up” rest or sleep. Like water, we need enough on a regular basis, can’t make it all up ‘later’ (whatever ‘later’ means).
And just like nobody serves you water before you’re thirsty (why you keep that big bottle by your side), only rarely will someone invite you to sit down, sleep late, go to bed early, take a day off before you’re desperate for it. It’s up to you to claim it for yourself.
So when the sky darkens so early these Winter days, when everywhere around you Nature is tucked under blankets of dry leaves or snow, pay attention. Sit your ass down. Pull up a blanket, a real book, a sleepy child and take a breath. The work will be there when you get back to it, none the worse.
Need professional permission, direction for this? Here: be tuned to the seasons of your business, your industry. We all have them. Make notes for next year so you don’t forget when it’s 20-hour-days, all-hands-on-deck, and when it’s “why isn’t my phone ringing? where are the people, the orders, the gigs!?” Find those days or weeks and shut the whole thing down: it’s costing you money to be open then anyway. Light candles, turn all your tech off. Rest, nap, play. Do not clean your house. Read, write, cook a meal with friends, play board games, laugh until it hurts.
Put some of those days on the calendar. Make them sacred. Nobody will hold it against you if you are out, incommunicado, off the grid, unreachable for a day or two or five. I promise. Look around, be honest. If someone says to you: “not tomorrow, not this weekend, I need a break, will be out in the woods/with my family/staying in bed” you don’t hold it against them, you ENVY them! Be our envy.
To all I’ve had the privilege of working with, the students, clients, advisors, teachers, thank you for trusting me to help shape dreams, right boats, move projects forward a little bit this year. I’m so grateful.